When all the dust had cleared and the fumes from the polyurethane finally disappated out of our front room where the dresser had been stored for a week, Mommy and Daddy looked at the newly-painted and refinished dresser.
Something was still not right, though.
Daddy said: "I don't understand, I thought I was done with this project!"
Mommy said: "Not quite, Daddy. There is still something missing."
Daddy said: "Well, I know. But in all fairness, there are logistical problems with packing those drawers full of beer, cigars, and wads of cash..."
Mommy said: "No silly! You're forgetting the drawer-pulls!"
Daddy rememberd the drawer pulls he had removed from the dresser prior to the Strypeze mayhem. He went into the basement and retrieved them, but to his disappointment they were in decidedly sub-par shape.
Daddy said: "These old wood drawer-pulls suck my ass! They're all filthy and covered with layers of paint and Strypeze tar and who-knows-what. We need to get some brand spanking new, super-DUPER drawer pulls! Let's throw these old ones away."
So off to the hardware store Daddy went for the third and final time. He found some snazzy NEW drawer pulls that he got at a mere $17.89. At first Daddy thought this sounded a bit high for drawer-pulls, but he had come this far with the dresser project and didn't want to sully it now with cheap hardware.
"Hmmmm...." said Daddy, "The new shiny drawer-pulls sure look nice. I bet Mommy will like them!"
As he finished installing the new drawer-pulls, Daddy mused inside about all the time he would have now for other projects like his new second job selling things for people on Ebay and taking care of his 80's haircut that Mommy wants him to have.
"Oooh," Mommy said. "I LIKE those new drawer-pulls!"
Daddy said: "Really?"
Mommy said: "Oh yes! In fact, I LIKE the WHOLE DRESSER! It really turned out NICE!"
"Oooooh yeah!" grunted Daddy, using a Macho Man Randy Savage voice. "I KNEW I could do it! I made the baby a nice dresser AND I kept Mommy happy!"
Daddy did a little victory dance in celebration of restoring balance to his home and successfully completing Baby Brand's Dresser.
Mommy said: "Come on over here and snuggle up next to me and we'll take a picture together!"
Daddy said: "And how! Tell me, Mommy: who brings home the bacon?"
Mommy said: "You do, Daddy!"
Daddy said: "You're damn right I do."
And the dresser was nice and ready for when Baby Brand was born. And Mommy and Daddy and Baby Brand all lived happily ever after.